Weekly Wrap up. Week 8. 2025. There's none so easy to delude as oneself....

Ok, full disclosure. I think it was me that dropped the clanger yesterday morning... those of you who joined me would have seen that I was not at home, and when I arrived at my destination the night before, I realised I didn't have a magic circle with me and went into the 8am class and edited it to avoid the little hiccough and I THINK I may not have saved the changes. I may be wrong as I am in and out of the library ever such a lot but I am going to put my hand up and say it was me.

 I could probably wing it and get away with it but I have never been very good at lying and dishonesty does not sit well with me.


Mind you, I say that.....

I remember many moons ago... many, many moons ago when I was 15. My parents had a bar at the side of the lounge - terribly "all the rage" at the time, then terribly naff and I believe, quite the rage again now. Anyway, I was home on my own, I was bored and I started looking for mischief.

I took the carefully hidden key ( hidden above the door as we all knew very well) and let myself into the little bar. I worked my way through the optics of many, almost certainly past their sell by date bottles of revolting sticky liquid and tried each and every one. Needless to say it was not long before I thought I was going to die. I staggered out of the back door to find somewhere to hide (and possibly die) and spied my sister's Hillman Minx which I crawled into and gratefully slept. When I woke, the effects were swift and I just managed to wind down the rear window and get my head out before events overtook me.

As I was walking slowly back up the garden, my mother and sister arrived home and my sister was horrified at the state of her car. I still, to this day do not know how I did it but without missing a beat, I just informed her that there had been a load of seagulls flying overhead and they must have poo'd down the car door. Im still laughing now, some 42 years later, at how I just came out with that line and that, as I was staggering up the stairs "with the start of a bad cold", I heard my mother and my sister discussing how shocking it was that the seagulls had done that.... dear reader, we lived in Enfield, North London. There is not a coast for a hundred miles.


My mother told us stories about when we were little and I recall the story of how my sister furiously denied writing all over the new wallpaper in her bedroom with a crayon. It was the fact that she would not back down and insisted it could not be her that saw her sent to bed. "But how did you know it was me?" she sobbed and my mother told us that the writing was, quite literally on the wall - all around her bedroom in wonky letters read "Louise 4"


Yet, as the saying goes, there is none so easy to delude as oneself. I can say for fact that I have on many occasions talked myself into or out of situations, telling myself I could justify that cake because I deserved it, I could have that drink because I had earned it, I could slack off work because I had earned the right to... How many times have you gone to do something and then given yourself permission not to because of the story you came up with?


I guess  that can go too far and I know more than one or two who have lied for so long that they started to believe their own warped narrative. One such was my ex husband who lied to me about his age... when he asked me once to get his passport from his laptop bag,  I flipped to the photo page to see how bad his picture might be, only to be confronted with a date of birth quite different from the one he had told me.. and he admitted that he had been telling me for so long that he had actually convinced himself he was indeed 8 years younger... Mind you, I still married him so who's the fool!!


We all tell white lies and we don't want to cause unnecessary discomfort - if someone has just spent a fortune on a new outfit and they are thrilled, would we honestly tell them we didn't like it? ..... on that note though.... when we were teenagers, a friend of mine's mum and her neighbour went down their road to the church to watch the arrival of a bride for her wedding. Maybe it was because they hadn't been invited and were a bit miffed but they were less than complimentary and I can honestly remember this to the word and I am laughing as I write this ..."Crikey, the bride has clapped some weight on, hasn't she? I thought brides were meant to lose weight in the run up - do you think she has already eaten all the wedding cake?  I would definitely wear sleeves with those arms" ... "And WHAT is Sheila wearing on HER HEAD? Call that a hat? ".... all this said unfortunately, very close to the videographer, back in the days of wedding videos being very new and with none of today's editing available. Every word was captured and saved.... on their  ACTUAL wedding video... I kid you not...


Learning to be brutally honest with ourselves is one of life's greatest lessons.

One of my favourite books is Rachel's Holiday by Marian Keyes. Marian is an addict in recovery and weaves addiction of many forms into all her novels (also brilliant - Again Rachel and Grown Up's) and she talks with such candour on the subject of addiction - I have heard her interviewed many times and it is the power to delude ourselves that is so shocking. The lies we can tell ourselves when all around us can see through it.

Another great speaker on the subject is the mighty Edith Eger, who I have mentioned before. A holocaust survivor, she continues to lecture as a psychotherapist in her 90's - her books The Choice and The Gift are absolute must reads. She talks about healing without distraction - whether that is alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, exercise, scrolling social media... it takes so many forms but it is only when we remove the many distractions that we can start to sit with ourselves, get to truly know ourselves and then, and only then may we move forward.

We know the need to be present, to be still, to be quiet but sometimes it helps to hear it delivered in a different voice or explained around another approach for us to see how it may benefit us.


Anyway - my name is Juliet Nicholas. I am 56 and when I was 15, I vomited down the outside of my sister's car. There are no seagulls in Enfield. 



We are nearly 5! I will say that again.... ONLINE, WE ARE NEARLY 5 years old....needless to say I cannot let this slip by so please bear with me as I have a lot up my sleeve.


I qualified as a Pilates teacher 20 years ago this year (couple of years after being a Personal trainer)but we have been online for a whopping 5 years and I look forward to sharing this with you. 


We have our Teatime talks (the guest list is getting booked up and looks amazing), we have 2 walks already in the library and Catherine and I are planning a really super London day out (members, email coming your way), I am working on a new library collection and some extras to celebrate our birthday so stay tuned. It's going to be busy.  

If you are not an online member, please make sure you are subscibed to my mailing list.


                       


What's coming up.

I hope all members are now happy with finding your way around the library!! Do get in touch if you have any questions!

The hideous abs class from Tuesday is in the library but I doubt anyone will want to see that again and last week's strength class is also up. Remember all classes are added in date order with the newest first.


And finally

The six best doctors anywhere

And no-one would deny it

Are sunshine, water, rest and air

Exercise and diet.


Those six will gladly you attend

If only you are willing

Your mind they'll ease

Your will they'll mend

And charge you not a shilling.


Nursery rhyme quoted by Wayne Fields, "What the River knows" 1990.




Have a great weekend everyone and I really look forward to seeing some of you at our walk tomorrow xx

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What does being healthy mean to you? I don't suppose any of us set out to be deliberately unhealthy. We may continue a behaviour that we know is not good for us, but we don't actively choose poor health. We may grumble that we ought to do more exercise of make some changes to our diet, but I am asking you to stop for a moment and just think - what does "being healthy" or "living a healthy life" mean to you? I know for most of us, our default opinion will be towards diet, exercise, relaxation and sleep and yet is it not so much more vast than that? What about the term "unhealthy relationships" or working "in a toxic environment" to name just two examples of things that affect our health but have nothing to do with what we eat or how much we move. I had an insanely "healthy" weekend this one just gone. I did a couple of really good training sessions, I had an afternoon nap, walked in the forest in the late afternoon sun with the dogs and ate so well that if you cut me I would probably bleed raw vegetables. When I sat down to watch some t.v. I flicked over to a true crime documentary on Netflix. Now, I am the QUEEN of crime dramas, be it reading them, watching them... I would probably be quite an asset to the SOCOS, truth be told with my eagerness to establish who last saw the victim alive and protecting the crime scene, (although the waste of single use and throw rubber gloves is of some concern - can we find something more environmentally friendly?). When I was running one of my retreats in Turkey, one of our guest's husbands was a detective actively working a murder case that week and I was only too willing to offer my extensive knowledge on procedures (not taken up, bizarrely!). Yet here I was watching this hideous documentary and finding my peaceful, happy mode deteriorate towards something quite dark and I just stopped it to wonder what on earth I was doing. I had to flip it around and instead go full immersion into a podcast on The Archers, itself quite dramatic but in a much less gruesome way (although Peggy's will is a worry but so too is her entire family's attitude - poor woman has not yet gone cold in the ground and they are doing their sums). I talk to people a lot about health and wellness. Of course I do. It's my business, a passion and interest of mine and I always feel privileged when someone chooses to discuss concerns with me and I reiterate - what does being healthy mean to you? We need consistency in our lives in order to carry us over the lows as well as the boring bits - the highs can often take care of themselves but they will always have a downhill or at least a flat bit to follow. Sometimes, the boring is good - some familiar, chugging along, recharge and just hum drum normality but the lows are what are going to be the challenge. So maybe for a change, think further away from the immediate - if you are still not sleeping well, or have that growly digestive issue or are more irritable or anxious or emotional, maybe your diet and exercise choices are not to blame but there is something else staring you in the face. I am not suggesting you choose divorce (worked for me but hey! may not be your first option) but maybe that friend is actually draining you more than you realised. Maybe work is taking up too much from you and you just haven't seen it because it has been like this for so long. We adapt to what we do and then it becomes the norm and perhaps we then don't see when it is no longer servicing us, or we forget that we change as we age and want and need different things. I am not big into meditating per se, but I am into mindfulness, gratitude, recognising what I have rather than what I don't . Those are things that have helped me. Well that and stepping away from a few relationships that were not nourishing me and were taking up a lot of battery power. What other things might enhance your life? What might your changes be? Perhaps your book club just isn't right for you anymore or actually you really do not want to continue Tuesday morning walking group- it might seem so trivial but if you are thinking and worrying about it, it clearly is not trivial. What is one thing you could cut loose and what is one thing you could replace it with? If you are fed up, sad, stressed, exhausted, cant sleep, can't stop sleeping, get bloated or gassy, have no energy... then apart from any genuine medical concerns, maybe you need to look at your global health. As the motivational speaker Mel Robbins says - "No-one is coming to rescue you". You have to fix it. Take a good look, have a good think and perhaps it is something that diet and exercise are not a part of. psst... but keep going on the exercise!
By juliet May 15, 2025
The sun is out which can only mean TEACH ON THE BEACH! (The picture above is one of the beauties who joined me this week!! ) We have enjoyed a week of classes down on the local beach and have dodged low flying and quite inquisitive seagulls, ponies coming to see what is going on and a very sweet but very annoying lost dog. I mean, I didn't think he was lost - 2 ladies were walking past and he was with them and as he continued to bounce about over us and our mats with his muddy paws, dropping his stick and waiting for us to throw it, I was glaring at the retreating backs of the aforementioned women, thinking how unbelievably irresponsible ... just you WAIT until they return... until someone in the class mentioned that perhaps he wasn't actually their dog and might be lost... which it turns out, was absolutely the case... and two other walkers passed by and said "Ohhhh he's Lara's dog".... and kindly took him with them... I don't think they actually planned to but as I said "oh MARVELLOUS, you know where is from because he has been a total pain" and they were sort of left with no choice. I hope Lara and he are happily reunited and all is well. Anyway, it continues to be an absolute treat to be able to throw a. mat down on the beach and have our classes in such a setting. I will never take it for granted and I just love seeing you walking down the beach to join me so let's hope this weather lasts (with regular overnight rain please - wouldn't that be the perfect solution). Welcome to some new members this week - I have already seen one of you on the beach and look forward to seeing you online too.
By juliet May 8, 2025
So that was a busy weekend. As Lou and Clare were coming to the end of an epic 100km run around the Isle of Wight I was settling in for an early night before taking my bike over to ride the 100km the following day. I have never seen so many bikes - the ferry we were on had only 2 cars and otherwise it was wall to wall bikes with a lot of lycra in the lounges! Bearing in mind people were arriving on ferries from Portsmouth and Southampton as well as Lymington, that was A LOT of cyclists. The group I was in were faster than I would normally ride so it was quite the challenge. When we first sat down in the ferry and I saw one of our group wearing a "Team GBR Triathlete" I felt slightly doomed and to be fair, we were pretty fast straight from the onset.... I could see my 2 little energy bars were not quite going to cut it. This was going to take a lot of gritted teeth and hoping for the best. Very early on, Lou was driving (trying to avoid the thousands of cyclists) and overtook me, so she kindly pulled in and took a little video of us going past (pic above) and it was lovely to see her. Do you KNOW how hilly the island is? They just keep coming.. and you sort of can't really enjoy the downhill as you know it will only be short-lived before you start the climb again. I knew that I would do it. If I put my mind to something I will stick to it despite how much I may overthink and worry but I knew that I would finish it, no matter what. A small achievement to many but the start of something new for me and being in a group, God forbid I held anyone up. It was actually a year to the day... it was last year that I went over to the Island to watch Lou and Clare run 50km (although I did sort of wander off and find our island member Sarah and spent a very happy afternoon in her bluebell wood eating home made chocolate brownie but I was thinking of them) but I really missed being part of the event. After so many years of running, I realised how much I missed the build up and anticipation of an endurance event: the sense of camaraderie and being in something together . It was off the back of that that saw me come home and buy my first proper bike - I mean proper as in all the others have been acquired along the way and have been older and heavier than me. I have snuck off and done a few bits and bobs here and there and of course, had the shock of how much work I have to do to keep up with the clubs I have joined but here we are - one year later and a 100km ride around the island. The Military Road is forever etched in my memory - it was only 20 miles or so from the end and my legs were tired. Somehow for a short while, I found myself out of my group and riding alone and as I tried to ride up this endless hill, cycling slower than a toddler dawdling along, I was literally shouting out loud "WHY do I do this to myself? WHAT is this teaching me about myself?".....but keep peddling I did. You see we are funny creatures - the whole psychology behind a challenge is massive. Once I knew I was into the last few miles, I allowed myself to feel and acknowledge how tired my legs were - until we realised we could make the 5pm ferry at which point I found a new energy and powered on faster and stronger than ever - I was NOT going to miss that ferry! As I say, not a big deal to lots of people who did it and nothing like the achievement of Lou and Clare (I can't even begin to imagine how deep they had to dig) BUT I am chuffed and it is the first step on the ladder. It is all relative isn't it? What is not much to one person is a massive challenge to the next - whatever it is, be it physical or otherwise, to succeed in something that requires courage, discipline and commitment is worth celebrating. We have to dig deep to push out of our comfort zone but when we do, the feeling of achievement is so self rewarding. Sometimes I think we forget to reward ourselves or give recognition for when we have gone outside our comfort zone and achieved something and we deserve to remember - a pat on the back or a mental high five even if it is not shared with anyone else can really boost our mood and if we have tried, we ought to (even very quietly) give ourselves a "well done me!" For me, meeting and chatting to like minded people who are all there for their own reasons. Some built like professional athletes, some not, all doing their best - all encouraging and supporting each other. Mind you, the ones who whizzed by at the end while my legs were falling off, saying things like "nearly there".... not so keen on them to be honest! What next? I think I need to buy a road bike now to start the collection... this could become the new passion..... will I keep going... yes of course I will... I think....
By juliet May 1, 2025
USE IT OR LOSE IT! I saw a post on instagram that I shared today. It is a video of a large family posing for a group photo, with many of them sat on the floor. Once the photo has been taken, they try to get up and that is where chaos happens (along with a lot of laughter) as they are clinging onto eachother, trying to get to their feet and getting into a total heap. Very funny... but also not... I was involved in a workshop today at Limewood and the phrase "Use it or Lose it" came up in the presentation. We all know the saying and can use it quite flippantly but how about acknowledging that if we no longer perform that particular activity, our body thinks it is no longer required and we find we CAN'T perform that movement. We need to condition our body and therefor when we first try a new exercise for example, we can feel quite unstable or uncoordinated and lacking in proprioception but as we repeat and practise, the move becomes more familiar and we grow in confidence and ability. Think of some of the sequences we do in Pilates or some of the more complex moves in our weights work - not for the faint of heart and performed only once we have built up the skills and have the coordination and understanding of what needs to go where. However as we stop doing those (or any other)moves they quickly become harder to reach. If you haven't seen it, do please watch "Secrets of The Blue Zones" on Netflix - about communities where people not only live beyond 100 but do so with good physical and mental health. It is a superb watch but the factors are the same in each community and one of them is of course, exercise, be it walking up a practically vertical hill to church or getting onto hands and knees to tend the garden daily. Whatever you do or don't do, please don't be the one rolling around because you cant get up from the floor!! Using it beyond all reason this weekend however are Lou and Clare - please join me in wishing them the very best of luck as they set off together at 6.45am on Saturday to run 100km around the Isle of Wight. If you recall, they did 50km last year and that achievement set them up for going the full distance this year. It also did something else as I went over to watch them and had a bad case of missing out, as I can no longer run and realised how much I missed the training and camaraderie of an endurance event and it was off the back of this experience that I came home and bought a new bike. So a year (and lots of cycling and joining a club) later, I am also off to the island on Sunday to cycle 100km on the IOW Randonnee. I respect that my challenge is nowhere near the scale of what Lou and Clare are undertaking but there are some big old hills over there... good job we have a Bank Holiday Monday to recover!! 
By juliet April 24, 2025
Blink and you miss it. There went Easter. I hope you all had a lovely time doing whatever you got up to and we now enter the summer term. I mean we don't really have terms but if we did, this is it... exams, summer uniform, netball and cricket and dusting off the bbq's. Personally, none of that really applies to me... well perhaps the summer uniform as I drag my shorts blinking and yawning from the back of the drawer. As for netball - I used to absolutely love it. I was always in the school team, playing Centre or Goal defence and did briefly join Lymington as an adult. When my girls were at prep. school, they reinstated a teachers v parents netball match and we won by a country mile -none of us really knew how but me being me, I went full out to start a mum's netball club one evening a week. Before we knew it, "friends" had mentioned us to the Bournemouth and Southampton leagues. This was very, very scary as we were just running up and down shouting "is that allowed? what are we supposed to do here? did that count?" so clearly in our infancy and anyway, we didn't have any matching kit but we did have a lot of fun - well, until someone went over on her ankle which promptly broke and that was the end of that. I have been spared life as a cricket mum or widow but sitting in a deckchair for hours in the sunshine pretending to watch sounds wonderful to me. As I watch my nephews revving up for the start of GCSE's, I thank my lucky stars those hideous days are behind me. I have a vivid memory of sitting at the kitchen table trying to revise while my mother sat outside in the garden listening to Wimbledon on the radio and the two are forever linked for me. Wimbledon with exams not my mother. Apparantly we have wonderful weather next week so dig out your sunscreen and if you can make it, I will be teaching on the beach for Monday and Tuesday's classes. We went through the 34 Moves recently and the upside down/inversion moves are usually the ones that need the most practise. You can really get a deep dive into these moves on the studio equipment if you ever go to a studio but we have several in our mat work - Roll over, Rolling moves, High bridge, Control balance, High Scissors and Bicycle. Remember that Joseph Pilates' philosophy was to perfect on the studio equipment and practise on the mat, hence we use all sorts of equipment and creativity to recreate as close to the studio work as we can for the vast majority of us who do not have access to a fully equipped studio. Why inversion? Gravity can lead to compression of the spine and their little shock absorbers known as discs that can become dehydrated. When we tip our body upside down, we can reverse the gravitational pull. This can help to create more space between the verterbrae and studies suggest that this allows for the discs' soft tissue to absorb moisture and rehydrate and plump up. Exercises like Roll over or the rolling moves can provide a massage for the spine and fascia as well as improving spinal mobility and of course, abdominal strength. (please note in photo above, my right arm is not perfect - my wrist should be flat and my arms could be stronger and better connected to the floor but it was the best pic I could find for now and I wasn't sharing that space with anyone else so it was a mediocre me or nothing!!!) Want more? Well, it is widely believed that being upside down can stimulate the lymphatic system and help with lymph drainage. Also the action of being upside down can increase blood flow to the stomach and therefor help with digestion and digestive issues. You don't need to be performing an advanced Control Balance move - some of the rolling moves and spinal extension we have been working on do the job in a modified way and anyhow, high blood pressure, glaucoma and spinal issues are some of the reasons why full, advanced inversion is not ideal - there are always ways to adapt, modify and practise safely. What we established in our 8am class yesterday was how many ways we can break down, build up and practise. For example, consider the Roll up, Roll down and Roll over as exactly the same exercise but variations come from the position you start from, how you work against gravity and whether it is your upper or lower body that moves. Thinking about Roll over, and going into the inverted positions (where your hands support you from under your hips), we worked on how to open up the chest, the need for strength through the traps, lats and triceps, length in the hamstrings, strength in the core and so much more. So for example, to improve High Scissors, you could consider side lying chest opener, Roll down with arms behind you, Saw and upper body only double leg kick - all moves to open up the chest and strengthen the upper body. In addition, hamstring and hip flexor stretches. Focus on pelvic floor and deep core connection so lots of abdominal and core strengthening- we could (and do) a whole class on moves to prepare us for one single and seemingly evasive exercise. What we do know is that to get better, we need to practise - a few daily exercises relevant to what you need to build on will make ALL the difference so.... with that in mind, I am going to start planning some workshop style classes again as we haven't done this for a while so your input would be welcomed. What moves really challenge you and what would you like to work on? I will get my creative hat on and build a class around the strength, stretch and mobility we need to focus on. What I continue to hear from you (and feel for myself) is the benefit of building strength from lifting weights and how that really helps with your Pilates progess. Isn't it great!!
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By juliet April 10, 2025
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