The Pillars of life. What are yours?

I’m a bit of a James Blunt fan. He is so self deprecating and very, very funny and a large reason behind why I watched Traitors. I was listening to him being interviewed this week about his new album entitled “Airplane mode” and his explanation was that we all need to sometimes go into our own airplane mode - shut off all outside distractions and give our brain a rest. I love that analogy and it dovetails neatly into my theme for this week.
When I wrote 2 weeks ago about firebreaks (taking a regular break to stop and reset), I got a lot of emails and messages from you so it clearly hit a nerve and so many of you recognised yourselves in what I was saying and how you too, need to put in some firebreaks. It is not always that easy though is it and I love the analogy of occasionally switching on my own personal airplane mode.
Something that is essential to our wellbeing are “Pillars of Life”. I am sure you have heard of this. Pillars in your life that help to hold you up - to help you to feel well, connected and fulfilled. The most common ones we often hear referenced are fresh air and sunshine, exercise, healthy diet, faith, community and relaxation. Included too might be financial security, purpose and personal growth.These are often mentioned but they are not set in stone (s’cuse the pun!) and can be anything suited to you so perhaps now is a good time to stop and reflect on what your pillars are. They will undoubtedly change as you change during your life and what you have always defaulted to may no longer be serving you.
As a bit of a lifelong nomad, never happier than when out and about, visiting and travelling, I have discovered that while I still love travelling, I now also need that downtime at home to just potter with a couple of days with nothing in the diary on a regular basis. Quiet time to just faff about to my heart's content. I think moving forward this is a new pillar to hold me up along with a couple of very early nights every week. I know I am not alone in that one as the secret "in my pj's and under the duvet before 9pm" club is larger than you might realise! Exercise is one immovable pillar for me and one that is built tall and strong and essential for my mental health.
Conversely your pillars might need to include a couple of weekly wild nights out on the town or a date night with a great friend in order to feel connected and alive.
I recently had supper with a very dear friend who had been worried about me when I was unwell. I had been leaving her voice notes on what’s app and I think she was very worried that I was slightly manic and hyper. When we discussed this we realised that she was listening to my messages on playback at 2 x the speed … I sounded positively frantic, talking nonstop without pausing to draw breath.
We both laughed 'til we cried and it felt really good so maybe you need to listen to your voice notes at twice the speed or spend time with a friend who makes you laugh and be a bit silly.
Why not take a moment before the festive madness hits (and let’s face it, it won’t be long) to recognise what your pillars are. In addition to the standard ones of life, add some extras that you know will help to hold you up and keep you going through a busier or more stressful time. Maybe write them down and have a look in your diary at how and when you are going to apply them.
Fail to prepare… prepare to fail!
Get prepped now. What do YOU need for YOU to feel well, connected, rested, reenergised and fulfilled on a regular basis before you do everything that you do to help everyone else around you?! Maybe it is time to help others recognise the pillars they need to build to help them in order to make less demands of you?
If you’re not changing it, you are choosing it… so in other words either change it or stop moaning about it!! Easier said than done isn’t it but perhaps just one little change to start with can help you see more clearly what else needs to change or be implemented to help you be a better version of you. Before it actually happens, set up some boundaries and some house rules that will help everyone, and stop you festering and grumbling way into January before you allow it all to happen again next year.
If you are in doubt as to what you can achieve, spare a thought for dear little Owain Wyn Evans who is about to cycle 400 miles through England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales in aid of Children in need. What a mammoth challenge he faces and let’s be honest; he isn’t your standard warrior. I remember vividly being glued to BBC live watching Sara Cox finish her challenge last year with tears running down my face at what she had gone through and listening to Owain talking about it, he sounds terrified and I don't blame him.
However, he has his pillars!! A superstar trainer in the form of Professor Greg Whyte who is an amazing athlete in his own right. If you have heard him and Owain interviewed, together they have put the pillars in place. Training, diet, rest, team support, psychological support, appropriate clothing, massage and recovery, route planning and pit stops. This success (and let's support him on this) doesn't happen by chance and neither does life.
These are temporary but essential pillars - best habits to implement and stick to rigidly while they are needed. So, what might yours be?
The festive season is an endurance event however you choose to look at it, whether you throw yourself in head first or actively avoid it so why not take a moment now, over your morning coffee to think about your pillars and what extra ones you may need to hold you upright, strong, fabulous and fulfilled.
I am starting a new weights program that will suit every level, no matter how reluctant or new to this. Only this week, I have had 3 emails and conversations with women who said that they had dreaded the class and had hated the idea.... and how much they now actually enjoy it, feel strong, more energised, more confident in other areas of life with one impressing a delivery driver as she relieved him of a huge box for her neighbour!
A strong body is an essential pillar.
Take time to make sure you are fuelling and nourishing that precious machine as best you can.
Look after your body, it's the only place you have to live.
Have a lovely Sunday,
Jx
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